Old Boyfriend

One day, while driving through Henderson, I showed Conner where I had a wreck once and totaled my car. He said, "How did you get home?"

I said "My boyfriend came and picked me up."

10 minutes later.......  C- "You mean daddy came and picked you up?"

Me- "No, my boyfriend, Jeff, before your dad,"

C- "Why didn't you marry Jeff?"
Me- "Cause he wasn't as nice to me and he didn't take as good of care of me like your dad does."

C- "How does daddy take care of you?"
Me- "Well, like when I don't feel good, he will bring me water or medicine, whatever I need."

C- "He doesn't do that, if you are ever sick, he makes me go get you all that stuff. He tells me 'Conner, go get your mom Medicine, I'm the one that takes care of you, not him.'"

 

5 years old

Back in the Day

Conner's new saying is "Back in the Day."

Pretty sure he picked this up from his teacher.

 He uses it in everyday conversation, and sometimes we have to look at him to make sure he is still just 5.

 

C- "Back in the day, they didn't have bulldozers, and they had to make the roads by hand."

c- "Back in the day, they used to have to pick crops by hand."

 

5 years old

I'm Retired

Steve asked Conner after breakfast "Why aren't you putting the condiments away? (one of C's chores)"

Conner "I don't do that anymore, I am retired!!"

 

5yrs 5 months

Prayer to the Flag

 

Steve- "Conner. lets say all the prayers you know."

Conner - "Our Father, Hail Mary, Bless Us O Lord, I pledge allegiance, "

Steve- "I pledge allegiance isn't a prayer."

Conner - "Yes, it is, It is our prayer to the flag!"

Conner Clean Toy Room

 

While eating at the Chinese restaurant, Conner asked me to read his fortune cookie to him.

Me- "It says, Conner, you need to clean your toy room."

Conner - "how did that cookie know my name?"

A Different Kind of English

At the Chinese Restaurant, Conner took a piece of bamboo out of a decoration. I said, "What are you doing?"

Conner said " I like this wood, so I took it."

Me- "You mean you "Stole it?"

Conner- "Well, not really, cause if they come up to me and tell me I wasn't supposed to take that, I won't know what they are saying cause they speak a different kind of English. So, they really can't tell me not too, I wouldn't understand them." 

 

Better Yesterday!

At Wheeler's party, I kept having to tell Conner over and over to STOP! So, on our walk down the road back to our house, I said "Conner, you had to spend a lot of time in time out yesterday for listening problems at home, and we talked and you said that you were going to try harder to be a BETTER listener. What happened today?"
Conner said "Well, mom, that was yesterday I agreed to that, today is a new day!"

Kid Size Mike

After having lunch with cousin Mike in Michigan, Steve and Mike were standing next to each other outside. Conner said to Mike "My daddy is bigger than you!"

Mike (age 51) said "Everyone is bigger than me."

Conner said "You are kid size, are you still growing???"

 

Age 5

Snake Slayer

 

When I was at work one morning, Conner woke up and ran to the back door to let Cubby in as he does every morning. When he opened the door, he found Cubby and a 4 foot snake having a staring contest. Conner came in and told Steve that Cubby had a snake pinned. So, Steve went to the back door, saw the snake, told Conner to stay inside while he went and got some clothes on. When Steve came back from the bedroom, Conner was gone. He opens the back door and Conner had gone to the barn, got a shovel, and was chopping the snake into pieces. He was yelling at the snake, "You will not scare my best Mommy. She will be scared if she sees you!"

 

So, I have a hero!!!

 

Age 5

Stealing Mrs. Andrea

 

While camping, I said "I smell Sweet Honeysuckle."

Conner said "Just like Mrs. Andrea. I am waiting for her to get rid of John and then she will be my girlfriend."

 

Mrs. Andrea is Conner's pre-school teacher and John is her husband.

 

Age 5

T-ball

 

While we were camping, Conner was playing with Josie from his t-ball team.

I said "Josie, do you like t-ball?"

Josie said "Yes!"

Conner said "Me too, I love it!"

 I said "Really?? I didn't know that."

Conner said "I love t-ball..... except for the practices and the games."

 

5 yrs old

Everyone Deserves to go to Heaven

We ordered baby chickens from a Hatchery. They got lost in the mail for a few days and we knew they all wouldn't be alive by the time they made it here.

When they arrived, two were dead. Steve took them out of the box and started to toss them in the trash.

Conner said "What are you doing?"

Steve- "Throwing them away."

Conner - "But if you throw them away, they won't make it to heaven, and everything deserves a chance to get to heaven."

So they buried the two little chicks.

 

5 years

Childproof

 

I put an old vitamin container in the tub for Conner to play with. He was trying to get the lid off and He said "This lid is stuck, it won't come off."

I said "Well, It is childproof, you won't get it off."

He said "How does this bottle know that I am a child?"

 

5 years old

Bad this Time of Year

Me - "Conner, were you good today at school?"

Conner- "Sort of."

Me- "Why just sort of? What happened?"

Conner- "Well, mom, it's something about this time of year every year, I just find it hard to be good!"

 

age 4 3/4 years

Roasting Marshmallows

At Easter Vigil Mass on Saturday night at 8 pm, they started mass outside with a bonfire and everyone a candle.

During the silence before the Father Joe started, Conner spotted a long stick leaning against the pit and said ,

"Hey mom, are we going to Roast Marshmallows?"

 

age 4 3/4 years

Poor Cubby

Conner will pick up Cubby, our cat, and lug him around. Although, Cubby is against it.

I looked at Steve, and said "That poor Cat!"

Conner said, "He is not POOR, He has a house!"

Henry Made me do it!

During mass, Conner spotted his best buddy Henry.

They waved, smiled, giggled, and that was cute.

Then, they started laughing at each other across the church and making faces and being total goofs.

Henry got the neck squeeze from his dad and Conner was quietly getting scolded.

After mass, I said "Conner, you not only got yourself in trouble, but you got Henry in trouble too."

Conner said, "No, mom, Henry got himself in trouble, I didn't make him do that, but God kept turning my head and making me look over at Henry and Laugh!!!"

His Story

While at the Nashville zoo, I said to Steve

"Do you want to do the Historical part? Or skip it?" (There is a historical house with a farm at the zoo).

He said "I don't care either way."

Conner chimed in and said "I want to go to it, I want to go."

So, we said "OK."

We go through the gates and Conner takes off running up the hill.

I tell him to slow down and wait for us.

Conner said "But, I don't want to miss it."

I said "Miss What?"

He said  "His story."

I said "Who's story?"

Conner said "You said we were going to his story thing, and I don't want him to start the story without us!"

Grandfathered IN

While at my parents lake house, Conner and I were going down the hill to the lake to walk on the banks. He told me that we should walk down Jimmy's (neighbor) stairs cause it is easier to get down that way. I said "OK."  Then, he said "Do you see that red line on the tree?, Well, that is the property line that MeMaw and Granddad can't mow past, or clean up, or move the logs."

I said "Oh really, Why?"

Conner said "well, the army people won't let them, but Jimmy, He can mow past that line and clean it up."

I said "Well, that's not fair. Why can he mow and Memaw and Granddad can't?"

Conner said "Well, Jimmy is a grandpa, so he can mow."

I said "Well, I thought granddad was a grandpa too."

Conner said "Well, Jimmy has been a grandpa for a long time!!!!"

 

In other words, Jimmy had grandfathered in to the mowing past the Army Corp of Engineers shore line rule.

Sit and Visit

The other night at dinner, Conner said that he was done eating and wanted to go play.

I said "Well, just sit and visit with us while we eat!"

Conner said "I see you all the time, why do we have to visit?"

Don't Kiss the Priest

 

Conner and Henry have been playing Priest and Mass for weeks now.

I was dropping off Conner at Daycare this week and I said...

"Conner, give Mommy a kiss, I need to go!'

He held out his hand in a STOP motion and said....

"Mom, Don't kiss the Priest!!!!"

No Coupon!!!!

After church Sunday, we went to Logans for lunch. We got our drinks and rolls. Then, the waitress asked us if we had any coupons. I said, "I'll have to check my phone for a coupon,"

After checking, I Said "Well shoot, I don't have a coupon for Logans,"

Conner quickly said "Are you gonna make us leave?"

Falling Windshields

This week while cooking dinner, the world news was on in the living room. I didn't think Conner was listening. They were talking about the frigid temperatures across the nation and said to expect falling Wind Chills tomorrow.

Conner said "Hey mom, they said there will be windshields falling tomorrow, guess we shouldn't go to school!!!!"